…especially after having had such a great time in San Francisco with our pals Kieran and Bre. We were whisked away to Napa for an afternoon of winery-hopping; we sang the Full House theme song as we drove by the famed “Painted Ladies” of Alamo Square; we attended the fabulously drag-queeny Castro Street Fair…all in all, it was a perfect end to our travels, and I want to move there, if they could get that danged “Big One” earthquake out of the way before I go.

Oh also, Justin decided to shave his head. He felt a little self-conscious so we decided to try to help him feel like he fit in better.

I think he would have felt better if that tiny biker hadn’t ridden into his ear:

Castro Street Fair. The problem with San Francisco is that it’s so darn conservative.

Justin is celebrating the fact that we didn’t leave him at Alcatraz like we threatened.

Wine tasting: Team green and white.

No fair…they brought in a couple of ringers.

Kieran really loved the painted ladies. A little too much if you ask me…

But then again, Justin was also pretty excited to be in the “Big City.”

Ta DAAAAAAAAA!

Well, we hope you’ve enjoyed reading about our trip…it certainly was fun to write this blog as we traveled, and to look back now at all the places we visited and people we spent time with. If you’re interested in driving cross country any time soon then stay tuned for an elaborate and comprehensive rating system of all the hotels, restaurants and friends we saw along the way.

[bow]

At least we did something else of consequence:

Onto Monterey and San Fransisco to eat rice-a-roni and ride trolley cars. Stay tuned.

Adding to the disappointment, Kanab’s cops don’t look like they’d add much to a dinner party. Those guys are a bunch of stiffs.

OK, OK, I know you can’t tell from the photo, but that “alive human person” in the car is actually a plastic mannequin or possibly a cop-shaped blow-up doll (uh…I mean…I don’t know if they even make those…) But it seems to be Kanab’s secret little anti-speeding tactic - they leave fake cops in cruisers parked on the side of the road. Is this a widespread practice?? I mean, I knew the BPD was full of dummies but…

Jeez Tom, I’m kidding. OK?

But seriously, living out here must teach everyone to be pretty versatile career-wise…

Sadly, it’s time for us to say goodbye to Kanab and make our way to California-via-Vegas today. Kevin and Mike we miss you both so much that we’ve decided to stay in Bakersfield for the night.

My mule’s name was Big Mac, most likely because he ate 30 of these before we left.

Becca rode a smaller mule named Didi, although she won’t be small for long by the amount of leaves/trees/rocks she tried to eat along the way.  We both agreed that her new name should be Kieran.

The scariest part of this trip is the fact that the mules are taught to walk on the cliff side of the trail so that they can see over the edge (and hence, not walk over the edge).  It takes a few minutes to get used to this as the canyon drops 8,000 feet below you, but as soon as you put your trust in the mule you feel a lot more comfortable.  Just make sure you bring a mask for the smell.

The way down was surprisingly difficult, so Adam decided to warp to a different level: 

The second day was spent 1200 feet lower, as we traversed a trail called “The Narrows” through 3 miles of slot canyons and back.  You spend about 75% of this hike in knee-deep, 55 degree water.  And somehow this was fun.  We even ran into Moses:

The canyon actually extends about four times as high as this picture shows:

Apparently Moses cannot walk on water:

Then we retired to our hotel in Kanab which, as mentioned earlier, is a bit strange.  For starters, an elderly man checked us in without ever touching a computer.  Everything was written by hand in a binder.  Odd (not to mention time-consuming).  Secondly, there is a whirlpool jacuzzi tub in the room.  What’s wrong with that you say?  Well, not much except that this is the only place to clean yourself, as there is no shower.  And what makes it even stranger is that it is just located in the middle of the room as if it were the dining room table.  Must be a surprise for traveling families.

This one is actually called “Ham Rock.” We don’t have a great shot of it so it’s not as obvious as it is in person, but with a touch of imagination you can probably see the slices of meat. I know I can.

Some carrots with your ham?

Here, we have provided you with a hint. See if you can figure it out.

Old, large-chinned man facing right? Or young newsboy in a scarf facing left? With a sharp stub coming out of the back of his head, but ignore that.

Cartman. Or Jabba the Hut. Both answers accepted.

Well, anyway, after a long day of hiking uphill for, like, three…days, I am going to retire, but you can look forward to tales of the Weirdest Hotel in America later this week. I’ll give you a quick teaser: there is no shower. At least, not in the bathroom…

We also witnessed the eruption of a geyser here that goes off every 90 minutes or so.  Not sure what it is named.  They should probably come up with something that is indicative of this type of behavior though.  I’d probably go for something like Grandpappy Reliable… or Steady Geezer Geyser or something.

All in all though Yellowstone is an incredible place.  We went in with high expectations and came away thoroughly impressed.  The amount of wildlife is amazing and the views of river-shaped canyons and bison-filled plains are first rate.  One piece of advice: Go in September.  The weather is still great, the crowds are slim to none, and it’s easy to follow the Red Sox on a blackberry in East Donkey Springs, Wyoming.  Actually that last one was a lie.

Lastly, we spent the Friday night outside of Idaho Falls with Vicki and Pete again.  As expected, they delivered with great food, great company, and a great place to sleep:

Becca then ran off with Pete on his motorcycle:

But I was able to catch them in my Prius!  Well, it took a while, but at least I was economical in doing so.  I’d like to think that’s just as cool.

We’ll leave you with a coyote and an ass.  Not a donkey, but literally the ass of a deer.

Mud volcano. Smelled foul!

Someone didn’t pass kindergarten!

This natural bridge was the midpoint of a loop bike ride along gravel paths in the southwest quadrant of Yellowstone. Seriously spooky. On our drive through various points in the Black Hills in South Dakota we saw plenty of signs that cheerfully reminded us to “Be Bear Aware!” Some even had a cute little cartoon picture of a bear paw. THIS path had signs that said things like “WARNING: BEAR FREQUENTING AREA” or “GRIZZLY HABITAT” or “WARNING: BEARS WILL LITERALLY RIP YOUR FACE OFF.” Maybe not so much that last one but let’s just say that I didn’t know I could ride my bike that fast before yesterday. 

You wouldn’t know it from this picture but these two elk were not elk BFFs. We have amazing videos of them duking it out, elk-style, right in the middle of the walkway.

 

*In one of a very few moments of feeling like our obnoxious selves, I may have tried to get one of myself crushing an elk’s head with my fingers, but damn, those little suckers move quick! And, do you include the antlers? These are the types of questions we face out here in the wild.

Monday was spent hitting a few must-sees on the way through South Dakota and eastern Wyoming.  Mount Rushmore was just what you’d expect… you stand in awe of how it was done, take a bunch of pictures, joke that Roosevelt and Lincoln look like they are about to kiss, and move on.  Oh, and the obligatory 5th-head picture:

As you enter the monument viewing area, you pass through the Hall of Flags for each of the 50 states.  I don’t know what Massachusetts did to South Dakota, but it must have been bad, as it was tucked next to a railing literally out of sight:

Crazy Horse was much more interesting in my mind.  The monument, started in 1948 when Chief Standing Bear asked Boston-born sculptor Korczak Ziolkowski to honor the great Native-American chief, is still far from finished and likely will not be completed in our lifetime.  The story of how Korczak spent the first several years working on the monumnet BY HIMSELF, climbing 700 stairs up the mountain sometimes 9 or 10 times a day is truly amazing.  Twice during his lifetime Korczak rejected $10 million offers from the Federal Government to help fund the monument’s completion, insisting instead on fundraising through private means.  Now that’s commitment.

All this and I still can’t stop myself from posting a stupid picture.  Doesn’t it remind you of Dr Evil’s mountain lair?

Next was Devils Tower in Wyoming, a massive rock intrusion rising out of nowhere.  Close Encounters of the Third Kind was filmed here back in 1977.  Close Encounters of the Little Kind also visited here in 2008:

Oh, and we weren’t kidding about riding those pennyfarthings:

“heyyyy whadda ya saayyyyy”